28 days later

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

This is at the start of third year
Let me see...
I still had hair...alot more then now...
I still had my lip pierced...which I lament the loss of every so often...
I was wearing jeans, which I hardly ever do anymore...
No make up...so my eyes look NAKID!


I think...in between this pic and how I look now, I changed alot, very drastically...but it was part of my art project...so Im not sure if I would have changed so much, if not for that.
I think Ive changed internally...mentally too...of course...everyone does...
Its part of growing up
We change
People are constantly changing
In a state of fluxus...
We are.


The second picture was taken sometime recently...last week or two
My hair is shorter...
Im wearing clothes that dont purposefully clash...which is what I used to do...
I have gotten a tattoo since the first pic, on the inside of my left forearm...
I still wear converse nearly every day...until they fall to pieces...
I think Im more 'together' in the way i look...even if my head is all over the place


^_^

Hope is all this and more

'Hope is a Feather'

Hope is a bird

Hope is a ship coming in from the sea

'Hope feels like the only thing left to hold on to, when there is nothing left concrete'

'Hope is the name of the weakest branch you have the misfortune to grab hold of when your falling to your death'

Hope is noise

Hope is a song

Hope is a small four letter word

Hope is a child's face

Hope is the bright horizon after a storm

Hope is a feeling

Hope is a state of mind

Hope is a lifestyle choice

Hope is Positive

Hope is Negative

Hope is a nest, cradling you until you are strong again

Hope can heal every broken heart

Hope can mend every broken bone

Hope is a feeling, selfgenerating, and invisible…like faith…and love

Hope is all we have right now

Hope is all any of us has right now

eighteen

Day 18 - Plans, dreams, goals you have...

You can ask anyone that knows me...I dont plan.
I dont plan anything...what Im going to wear...until Im literally infront of the wardrobe fishing for things in the morning...
What Im going to eat...I dont go food shopping with a list of ingredients that I will need for every day's meals...I think I did that once...and I nearly passed out from the restriction, so decided never to do it again...
I dont even like to plan what Im going to do the next day.
I dont like things to be set in stone...not that plans are literally a list of things that must be followed or else...
I just feel restricted...and like things cant change then, and if they do, itl be a huge hassel...etc...

I, so, then, have very very very loose plans.
Ones that can be changed around quite easily, without much fuss, or bother, or heartache to anyone involved...
1. I plan on having Kiaya over on Wednesday, to keep me company seeing as the boy is leaving :_(
2. I plan to go back to sligo soon...for to get my disasterous tattoos fixed up, so they look sharp...
3. I plan to plant a flower patch for next spring/summer...so I have picking flowers...something Ive always wanted.
4. I plan to visit alex at the end of october...
5. I plan to spend Halloween with Grace, Bug and Liudas...trick or treating :)
6. I plan on moving to Galway when Alex gets back form Austria...

1. I dream about doing something that will make a difference in the world...I dont know what. I think I should be given quite alot of power, over the world. I promise I will fix EVERYTHING...because I am sick to death of how it all is...
2. I dream of living in a totally passive, ecofriendly house, that has its own water, and creates its own electricity...I want to be totally self sufficient...grow my own food...make my own clothes...
3. I do dream of having children...but that much responsibility...I think Ill transfer that over to dogs and cats maybe...
4. I dream of travelling, I want to see lots of different places, one place at a time...slowly. I want to take my time, and soak them up. I dont want to go on a massive, sweeping world tour...
5. I dream of being thin...a little superficial...but at least im honest...
6. I dream of being happy...of really being happy...through and through
7. I dream of being a better person, a better friend, daughter, sister, lover...
8. I dream of being proficient in something...whether that be making herbal remedies, or reading tarot cards...or art...
...
Those are my goals...if I can manage to fulfill all my plans AND manage to get some dreams out of the way, Ill be doing. Pretty. Well

Today's coldplay snippet...

a long time coming

Jesus H. Christ...

Got the official shock of my life today, when I got the little bro to take pictures, of what I thought, was a relatively ok back tattoo...

NO  NO   NO...

Defo not ok...not ok in the slightest...

Hopefully someone will be able to do something with this abomination which has been living at the base of my spine for 4 years...but really, at this stage, a solid black rectangle would look better then this craic...

IF I EVER SEE THE TATTOO ARTIST THAT DID THIS TO ME...

:head spins 360* repeatedly for a few seconds, then explodes:

17

Day 17 - Someone youd want to switch lives with for a day and why

I dont know...
I wish that this question was easy to answer...like I think about this all the time...as a form of escape or something...just off the top of my head...

:shes the one on the right...giving tegan the evils...at least ive got the look down to a tea:

I think I would happily switch lives with Sara Quin. During a time when shes writing music, not performing...or maybe performing a small gig...
She is quite intense...and I like that. I can be pretty intense, so I dont think it would be that much of a change...Id like to sit, and write...for hours and hours and hours...then meet my sister, and make fun of each other, and laugh alot...
Alternately...Id like to go somewhere ive never been...and take pictures...and sing the songs i love...and make fun of my sister and laugh alot.

I think it would be nice for a day.

Grapes=natures candy

Squeek, and a fly...the battle continues...

Mr. Hedgehog...who graced us with a shy visit last night, at about 12...He was so cute...I could see him taking each concentrated breath...lovely animals...and the very first one Ive ever seen - alive

One of the last, beautiful, summer sunsets...

16

Day 16 - Another Picture of yourself

I took this one day that me and alex were skyping...im in the smaller box. I think she looks like a cute raccoon...and I look like i got dipped in pink paint...but youl have that...

I like the grids on this...nice :)

i will try to fix you

four teen

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

After quite a bit of searching through the many folders and sub folders on my external, this is what I came up with...

Eoghain...brother, Mother in the middle, back...Me on the right in the black and Nana, mam's mammy.

Honestly, this is the only pic on my hard drive that has any family in a cluster together...kinda of sad really.

Collette is taking the pic...and dad is in America...

I must start taking pictures of my family 0_o

Lovely things that make me melt

  

tiffany bozic

jesse hazelip

lars henkel

allesandro papetti

katarzyna gajewska

steve seeley

linn olofsdotter

Ok...Squeek's heart shaped spot...maybe a bit random...but look...still melting :)

Flowers for Magpie tattoo

  

Mum's favorite, turn cap lily

  

Daffodils for daddy

Lupins for Daddy

  

Roses for home

  

i love this

I was talking about this with a friend, and couldn't help myself

Bittersweet.

Magpie ideas...

Pretty magpie found here

And I really like this style...but not sure if for me...

12

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one


I think it just came about through researching shit for college...happening across blogs that had interesting things...art stuff...pretty things...blah blah blah...
So I made this one specifically for a place for my art stuff, back at the end of 2nd year...obviously, its not that tailor made anymore...and is more of a mix-um-gather-um...but I dont mind that at all...


Its also a handy way to keep track on other blogs that I like:)


Its my secret space :)

eleven

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
What did I tell you last time???

I really like unposed pictures...Thats pretty much what made up my body of research this year...so I guess it helps to like it...


This is a pic of my brother (Eoghain), Me...In the middle on the phone to Alex, in Austria...Elaine, Sipping her Starbucks...and Keelin is taking the pic.
My 4 nearest and dearest :)


This was a couple weeks ago in Dublin, For Elaine's 24th birthday...shes an oldie...but a goodie :)
X

ten

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Are you trying to melt my brain...I am so difficult. You see...most music I listen to for all 5...some songs that I listen to when I really happy one day...I can listen to another day when Im quite down...So...AWKWARD...I...AM


Sad: A perfect circle - 3 libras (I love love this song tho, and will listen to it on repeat when the mood strikes...even if not sad)
         Dresden Dolls - The Wind That Shakes The Barley (live cover)
         Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
         PJ Harvey - White Chalk
         Miike Snow - Slyvia
         Coldplay - Yellow
         Snow Partol - Set the Fire to the Third Bar
         Art Garfunkle - Bright Eyes


Hyped: There really is only one that gets me going...even when I'm asleep
              Late of The Pier - Heartbeats (Hot Chip remix)


Bored: I dont really listen to music when Im bored...I listen to the radio I guess...


Mad: Tool, A Perfect Circle and Mindless Self Indulgence


Happy: 


All other music, and even what is above...I would listen to while happy.
As a general rule, I dont listen to any specific music when for example, going through a break up, or travelling somewhere specific...because I dont like associating things with music. I used to, but not so much now. I like the music to live on its on, and for me to take different things from it depending on the day and my mood...instead of just thinking of one thing when I listen to a certain song.
I love Tegan and Sara...i think everyone knows that now...I love Dresden Dolls, New Young Pony Club, The XX, pretty much every dubstep made mix up the boy has downloaded over the last couple years, 4tet, Passion Pit, Foals, Late of the Pier, Jamie T....the list goes on endlessly... 
         

Nine

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days.


I'm REALLY proud of myself for getting enough guts together to haul my behind down to Sligo for a visit. I don't know...I think this little rant Im about to embark on will prolie make sense to me, and other people living inside my head...Ill give it a go anyway...
I am shit scared of people...thats a pretty general thing. Im scared to a certain degree , of what they make of me...not think of me...but how they interpret me or understand me as. People are such complex things. You never know, no matter how truthful someone is, just what is going on inside that noggin of theirs...So I can be quite distant...or  seemingly mean...a little caustic...but I think its a defense mechanism...to try and keep unhurt...but I think Im starting to cop that pushing people away is a much worse pain then actually losing someone.  So, now that I know, Ill have to do something about myself...
And because these things are going round and round the garden of my head, I really had to psych myself up for any sort of solo human contact...Im so use to having Alex as my buffer...If I feel awkward, or socially retarded...she's there to make lite of my insanity and save the situation...or just keep the conversation ticking over...Im so bad with talking...see me now...Im fine. The words come easily, I barely have to think about it...but once theres another person...I get tongue tied...look like a fool, or like I dont know anything...so generally walls, corners and other rooms are good for me...being social without being social...I am such a mess...


So...Thats why Im so proud of myself for managing to keep myself together, until I got on the bus at least, while I was in Sligo. I have never hung out with Grace and Liudas...just the 3 of us. Alex is always around. So I have always thought of them as more her friends then mine...but after the last couple of days, I think that thats dissapating a good bit:) Which makes me feel happy, and a bit stronger inside myself.
I can travel to America on my own...but I feel like Im going to fall to pieces when faced with people...
There is something so wrong with that...

Day 8

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why.

1. Get up to Sligo and visit Grace, Liudas and Bug (because they are my friends that I have neglected since starting college, and Im attempting to make up for lost time now that I have tons of it)
2. Get my new pc up and running. (because my old laptop is a heap of shit, and Im losing my eyesight because of its tiny screen)
3. Get my new mp3 player organised. (because Im giving mum my creative zen, so she can join the times that we are living in today)
4. Get in touch with Moire to arrange work experience. (because I want to learn how to make my own clothes, so I dont have to keep wearing Pennys stuff and looking like everyone else)
5. Make something really nice for Mums birthday. (because she deserves it...and I like making people their presents, cuz your guaranteed now to get another one)
6. Book tickets to visit Alex. (the sooner I book it, the cheaper it will be)
7. Draw something, anything. (I need to get back into it...before my hands go on a permanent vacation)
8. Make a 'real' plan for my next tattoo. (I cant keep messing on photoshop...I just have to sit down and do it!)
9. Get insured on Eoghain's car...if my lisence ever comes back! (I have to stop being such a scardie cat, hippy bum, and drive so Im not to stranded all the time...)
10. Try to figure out what Im going to do with my life now that college is over. (that one doesnt need an explaination)

Riding a Dino through the Web

Eoghain is gigging tonight, so he has his laptop with him...which means Im on our 9 year old dell desktop...which is slow as fuck...it is very unlikely that this post will even send at all...

Speaking of the boy...he has been my life line since I got back from college, and Alex left for Austria.
I am laughing as soon as he gets up, until he leaves. I dont know what I'll do when he goes to Leeds... ??
Im mostly laughing at myself, because he rips the piss right out of me...but there are times, when he genuinely funny, and it has nothing to do with him making fun of me.
I think if anyone actually heard us, we would definately get our own radio show...or maybe pod cast...
And when he's funny...Im funny...and that makes me happy ^.^

I have a feeling Ill prolie be setting up camp down in Sligo till the boy and the girl are back.

Ive also been talking to Lauren alot the last couple of days which I think is good...
Im so freaking bad at making friends, that most of the time I dont even bother...
Its so anti-social of me, I know.

So I think I mite be expanding my incredibly tiny circle of friends by one...
Thats all I can just about manage at the moment...

Baby steps people...

OH! The tomatoe plants that my mum experimentally grew outside in a little make shift glass house, have been relocated to our upstairs bathroom, and are starting to ripen!
I had 2 today and they were d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s.
There's nothin quite like growing your own veg...they taste totally different to store bought...and tomatoes should be ate sun warmed...they taste so much better...

I have a bunch of pics I really want to post, but Ill wait til tomorro,
The whole kitten caboodle will crash if I even try.

I think an early night is in order...
:)

Day 07

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you


Oh for goodness sake...
This changes daily...and yearly and monthly...I am going to answer it on an 'at this moment in time basis'

Tegan and Sara

Tegan and Sara's music is having a major impact on what I am working on at the moment. This is actually a project I have been working on since 3rd year, but I am only getting the chance to develop it now. 

Im not sure there is any real deep meaning behind what Im doing...or if its just purely self indulgent...but hey, its art...some one, somewhere will get it...im sure...right?

Their music conjures up alot of workable imagery for me, which is good. And, apart from that, it makes me happy...which is an overall positive influence over me...I think we will all agree :)

So go team TEGAN & SARA...

Giving me more happiness and inspiration then a bag of skittles and a dictionary put together...

Im not sure either...

Tired now...

Zzz

Little slice of Heaven

This is where I was today...Mulranny...

Take a right at newport, and its straight passed the pearly gates, opposite the big book of judgement.

I was helping Alex's mum out with setting up a church for a wedding...a really cute, small little church. 

The mountains in the distance are the chain that Crough Patrick is a part of...actually, the Reek is directly opposite the church, but its the back side of it...so its more sloped, and all that makes you aware of what it is is a tiny bump on the top...the church...

I really enjoyed my day. Me and Jackie talked, and had lunch, walked down to the beach...I took some pics, obviously...then went home.

Popped into the house to say hi to andy and play fetch with junior for a few minutes. 

Andy is so funny...he really makes me laugh. I miss hanging out in Alex's house with her family. The couple of weeks before she left, I felt like I lived there...now I havent seen them since we dropped her off at the airport...so it was nice to touch base...so it wouldnt be too awkward when I did see them.

I walked home from town...I  *love*  walking, I always have. It lets me think, or switch off...whichever needs to be done. Whenever I get stressed, mum always tells me to 'drink water and go for a walk'

Both work for me.

When I walk, alot of things come to the surface...I am bubbleing with ideas and plans...

Now its just a matter of getting them out of my head, and onto paper, and on the wall...

So much to do...so much time...

I love being able to finally say that

<3

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do then by the ones that you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”- Mark Twain

This is a bit early...but frankly, I dont care...its my blog and Ill do what I like :)

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

 I have always had a major soft spot for Batman...and I am a bit of a nerd in that I do judge people, a little, on their choice between Batman and Superman.
Im not going to lie, that my opinion of you will change a little if you choose Superman.


You have been warned.


Why do I love him so?


Let me count the ways...

1. He's more relateable then alot of the other super heros...like the x-men...spiderman...superman. Batman is just an ordinary guy, granted with alot of money so he can fund his crusade against the vilians...but still. He is basically fighting evil, which I think is a good message to pass along.
2. The bad guys in Batman, are just SO MUCH COOLER then in any other super hero series...I mean...Poison Ivy, the Joker...Catwoman, not to mentionTwo Face, Penguin, ScareCrow...They are all such colourful personalities, and really, if Im being honest...They are as much a reason as any that I prefer Batman to other superheros.
3. The music. The theme music to all Batman related spin offs has been amazing. Whether it's retro, with POW! WHACK! CRUNCH! and then all the tin tidely jingly music in the background...or the music in the Dark Knight, which builds and builds to a point where I am all goosebumps, the music makes it real. I dont even know if there is theme music to Superman...?

5

Day 05: A picture of somewhere you've been to.

This is the view from the top of one of the Burren Mountains on the way to Doolin, and is made up of a few photographs photoshopped together...my camera doesnt take wide angled shots...but I always liked this effect anyway ^_^

Me and Alex went camping there a couple of weekends ago...it was really nice.

Weird Day

Yeh...it was a funny ole sort of a day with me...

Firstly, I woke up too early, after not having gone to bed til about 2 this morning...thanks in part to the banter myself and my auntie Ann-Marie were engaged in to the small hours.
Ann-Marie is over from Oz for a long visit...and when she comes to stay I love the talks and stories and memories and everything that her sister, my mother, has forgotten, or wasnt born, so doesnt remember or didnt experience the same things that Ann-Marie did, who is 10 years older..

Its really interesting to hear her talk about my grandparents, who I never was close to, because unlike the rest of the family, we grew up in America...so didnt have the same access to out relatives that our cousins did, say.

And now, the only way I know my granny, is as an old woman, in a nursing home...who only hears when she wants to hear...and gets aggitated if shes in an unfamiliar place...
So when Ann-Marie tells me funny things that my grandparents said to each other...so tells me how nana was in the red cross during the 2nd world war...I can imagine it...and it makes my granny more real to me, I guess...

Ann-Marie reminded me at dinner or a time when we were over from America for a summer holiday...and we went visiting uncle jim joe...I think...
And there was some other woman in the nursing home where he was and she was shouting and giving orders, and going round all business...
Now I imagine that that would have upset me a little when I was young...but Ann-Marie remembers turning to me and saying...
"You have to think of them as the way they were when they were younger"
And when she said that to me over dinner, it clicked inside my head...I didnt remember her saying that to me...but it felt as though it wasnt the first time that I had heard that...

And I would think that I have always, prolie every since that time, that I have tried to see people older then me as they were once.

So Ann-Marie is leaving us for a little while tomorro, but she will be back in a few weeks I think...
And dad is home...so tomorro should be a whirlwind as well.


Spent a good bit of the day chasing after cows that had gotten in to our fields...and once I got them out, I had to find how they had gotten in...
That was minus craic...
Then I tidied my room...sort of.
Monica and Lil visited for a while...
Squeeky took to coming into my room through the window ever hour or so...it was very cute....

But today, I felt exhausted. Like I could have fallen asleep standing up, if I had stood still long enough.

The weather was savage so...hibernation will have to wait til winter :)

4

Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn't have:

Can I list a few?

• I wish I didn't bite my nails when I got stressed
• I wish I didn't procrastinate...which makes me stressed...see first bullet point
• I wish I didn't crack my back and nuckles and knees...etc
• Wish I could walk past a reflective object without instantly feeling bad about myself
• I wish I could keep my room tidy for more then a month before it reverted back to its teenage state of bomb site/tip

3

Day 3: A picture of you and your friends.

This is an image made for my project this year...and some of the people I actually wouldnt even consider my friends anymore...and there are people who should be on this that arent for various different reasons...

My friends are a funny bunch in that they dont really like getting their picture taken...

And I usually amen't in pics cuz I usually the one with the camera.

So this is the best I have for the moment.